Keeps Changing


Wind is soft, but it can grind down a hard rock…

Changing is happening every second surround us whether we appreciate it or not, it is happening. many things are chaning with me…


I think I need to rethink the way I approaching my friends. I really want everyone to have a pleasurable experience with me, despite it is short or long. I will feel sad if I ever made anyone sad. I cherish every person in my life: everyone has their unique meaning; they are there to teach me something in my life. But since I am receiving consistent comment on how to communicate with others, I think I must have some problems with myself.

It is true that rarely do I trust another person. I keep distance with others. I know everyone needs to have their own spaces and privacy. I do respect others’ opinions. I do not want to boss around…but ended up, I always hurt others. I hurt the people who trust me, I hurt the people who place their faith in me…am I cold blooded?

I think I need to be more active in problem solving. I need to be more creative in approaching people. The long conversation I had with Mona today really helped me a lot. I learnt many genuine feedback from her. I learnt why people are leaving me.

Everything keeps changing…

I really can’t imaging 2 years before how much I have changed compared to then. The way I do my work, the way I perceive other people, the way I talk and even the way I walk…:) I have corrected many of my biased views about other people; I become highly practical (unethical?). I become more open minded and less arrogant. I learnt many from my experience. The changing environment is changing how the way I think.

Many things I still need to learn…

I thought I can understand what other people think; I thought I am good in handling people; I want to be as approachable as possible…but I am wrong. What people perceives me is very different from what I want to be…

Many things I still need to learn, to grow, to understand…I am very sincere in my personal life. I do not spend my time in clubs, drinking, hanging out, partying, hip pop music; I rather spend my time in reading historical stories, reading intellectual stories, classic music and enjoying nature. For many people maybe it is rather boring, but I still enjoyed the way I spend my time…that is Tornar, Xiaotong Yang…the stubborn Tornar…

But I feel that I have missed out some important part of my life. I stayed in my own world without understanding others. Since I was young, I was very different from people of my same age. I do not think the way they think. I found their value to be very shallow and impractical. I was very arrogant and proud. I have improved ever since I came here, but I need someone to teach me more…someone I can trust.

She is really very good: positive personality, skillful, understanding, energetic and wise. I found great value there and something I do not have. I really feel attracted…

Of course, this time, let both of us have sufficient time to think. The relationship we have now, I will cherish them. I do not want to ruin them.

 

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