Love, that was late for 40 years…(Detective Conan 421-422)


One always remembers the first love. It is the simplest, purest, most innocent and with all the beautiful excitement and fantasy…the uncontrollable heart beating, the flushing, rapid breathing, all that happiness and joyfulness…unforgettable entanglement…

He protected her against a barking dog; with passion and patience, he taught her how to love animal; He would accompany her everyday home after school…for two grade 6 students, those are memorable moments, much treasured…

She always wore a low hat. That day, alongside the falling ginkgo leaves, strong wind suddenly blew off her hat and revealed her blond hair. She was crying and shivering. She was frightened that people would alienate her because of her difference. Then he, picked up one ginkgo leave from the ground, and told her "the color of your hair is as beautiful as the gingko leaves…" she was startled and speechless. When all the happiness seems to persist forever, one day, she suddenly disappeared. She moved away from him with nothing left but a letter.

On the letter, she told him that she would wait him every ten year at that "special place".

He was a true genius when it comes to creativity, science, and number,  but terribly slow when it comes compassion and love… Although he had tried, but it took 40 years for him to realize the "special place". It was under one of the ginkgo trees behind their school.

A reunion after 40 years, a much waited karma after 40 years… She was as beautiful as people would anticipate. She became a successful fashion designer, a brand coined a ginkgo leave as its symbol; and he, with shabby clothes, white hair and beard, round belly, was still a nameless scientist. Both of them were still not married, for different reason though. However, the reunion didn’t turn out to be that romantic at all.

"You have lovely grandchildren!" she thought those were his grandchildren. After a small chat, obviously an attempt to cover the embarrassment. "my husband might be jealous, I need to go now". He was speechless, not certain who she was. She entered the car and was leaving.

"And this was the result I waited 40 years, a stupid old woman waited 40 years…he did not even recognized me…" a self mockery with much bitterness "thanks for all the accompany, I think next ten year you will not need to come anymore…" she spoke to her friend, who was driving.

Looking at the car moving away from him, with a sudden burst of courage, he shouted: "the color of gingko is still the most beautiful!" She surprised and looked back…

Do people always end up with the person they love? Misunderstanding, hesitation, rigid bias, paranoid and many other incidents, they undermine our karma. Every feeling deserves the full effort to actualize its potential. It is same for love as it is for work.

I know real stories that couple married to wrong person because of a momentary misunderstanding. When they have realized the mistake after 10 years, one of they was dying of cancer. When people is about to die, all the external expectations, arrogance, pride, fear of rejection become irrelevant. Left what is truly important to us, the feeling of our heart. We have to trust our destiny. It somehow links all the happenings surround us. But that would happen only if we put our best for each opportunity. Follow one’s heart needs great courage, but it is the heart where lies your destination. Actually when it comes to love, I believe the true love is to be encountered. The more one seeks for it, the more elusive it become. It usually comes without one realizing it. However, that doesn’t mean one just sit and wait. Since the chance is rare, one has to try to catch it once it is there.

To tell someone that I loved her was not an easy job, definitely not for me. I am happy I was able to do so, even though I knew the answer. I just wanted to face it and concluded it. Then I will be able to carry on, to face new challenges and opportunities.


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