I have fully engaged in my new role in life now. I feel deeply inspired and grateful about what I am doing. It is a great opportunity to be in part of something of considerable magnitude. It is really nice to meet different people from all background, holding all different values, culture and culture. I am learning a great deal of things from people who have rich experience and knowledge. And another thing I feel very proud is that, the respect I have earned from all the people surround me has little to do with my parents or my family background. It is because of me and the sincerity I have put in my life.
People are changing amazingly fast. I heard a saying that people were initially as pure as white orchid, then the society colors them. I think the society just gives one the opportunity to be oneself. Society does not make anything new from people; it only makes people who they really was. Relieved from all the restriction contained one for 20 years or more, the freedom to make decision shapes people. At times, it is quite surprised to see how much people can change for six month. It saddens me profoundly to see friends distanced so much for just six month. Another way around, in their eyes I must have changed dramatically too. I might appear to be more liberal now, but at heart I am always conservative.
Month of Rose
I dreamed about something really bad two days before my CFA exam. I was really scared and confused after the dream; it really struck me of how strong the feeling was. It was consciously kept aside. But the intensity was never diminished, as if it always waits for an opportunity to come back alive again. Well, unfortunately, opportunity is again for someone else.
A moment lasts forever. A moment made my heart miss a beat. It is the snippets of memories last forever. The way of talking, walking, smiling; the long, deep, shining, black long hair…it was really hard to hold a compulsive urge to touch it. One hundred and eighty days were nothing but another confusing journey. At the end, it has left little more than a leary imagination. If it really was a matter of technique rather than Karma, then I must be very bad at it. June, the month of rose and honeysuckles, is the month I have promised myself to find a possibility. Seems I need to wait again…
Remember what I have promised to you? It is more like a promise to myself. I don’t know how other people do it, but it is very hard to convince myself of the impossibility. The memories, the passions, the emotions are still so vivid, even they have been buried for so long. Consciousness failed again to deceive the heart, nor erase the foolish. Quite contrary, I think it has made all the feelings ever stronger. It pains deeply to face the true reality. it pains even deeper as one could not show it on his face. Please forgive me, but I really can’t make out the confinement of friendship. Then I got confused and felt hurt…
And thank you, thank you again for every moment. Those are the only things I am going to keep with me, all my life. I will always pray silently for your happiness, for you and for the people you love.
And for ever you need me, I will, always be there.