How to Win Friends & Influence People

What is the most important skill to success? Is it accounting, marketing or operational skills? Is it creative thinking, intellect or charisma? Unfortunately, a Ph.D degree only remotely relates to extraordinary. Most leaders have realized that the only critical skill to success is “people skill”. It is about how to communicate effectively, how to solve conflicts, how to win argument and more. As globalization pushes every corner of the world, success largely depended on motivating a culturally diverse team. “People skill” does have a wide range of application other than business. It helps in friendship, family and almost every facets of life.

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie is a book dedicated to address this skill. Although it has been printed for 70 years, it is still been hailed as the best of its kind. This book has provided a list of quick yet comprehensive, concise yet practical tips in managing human relationship.

In an increasingly computerized world, people’s interpersonal communication, like all the other pro-fast food and assembly-line lifestyle, is also becoming rigid. Dealing with computer differs distantly from dealing with people. Computer makes decision based on given information and written algorithm; people do not. People take account of their pride, emotion, prejudices when making their decision. That is why sometimes an outright, well logically structured argument goes in futile when it has been used to convince people. There is a growing necessity for everyone to learn how to communicate effectively.

“The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them”. The book has been composed with astute wisdom and vivid examples. Mr. Dale has demonstrated his insightful thought over numerous historical events, through which Mr. Dale has illustrated the intricacy of human relationship in a plain yet inspiring words. In order to let reader make the best out of the book, the main teaching of the book has also been summarized into several lines of sentences and phrases, of which can be used to make quote and flash card.

There is one thing in this book I couldn’t agree more: sincerity. Sincerity in one’s attitude towards life and others is what makes extraordinary. I am sure you will also find many useful tips that you can use in your daily life.

I have to say that the author may not have fully explored all the potential ways of effective communication, as he admitted in many places in his book that his methods may not work all the time. After all, no one can please everyone. And people skill can rarely be learnt from book, it comes from real life experience.

Nevertheless, nothing compromises its value as a truly enlightening book. The list of tips keeps reminding us of common blunder and mistakes in communication. It is easy to understand and use. After all, sending an email or yelling the words alone do not serve the purpose. It is the concurrence from the other person matters. Not all of us want to become a solicitor or a politician, but we all benefit from an exceptional people skill.


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