My Manifestation of Ambition
Up to last week, I have applied total 6 times in 5 different universities. Last year, I was not anywhere closer to those Ivy League schools; I hadn’t even received an interview request, let alone on the waiting list. It was equally depressing and baffling. Am I just another ordinaries? Have I represented myself in the best way I could? I hoped they were wrong in their decision.
I tried very hard to get into a financial firm, but I am not getting any response. As the time pass by, I feel that I am drifting away from my dreams. I feel like a featherless bird flapping helplessly to reach the sky. I am scared and confused. There got to be a way. I still believe that I can do great things to realize my dream: the universe.
Now with a rare peace of mind in the last 6th week of 2009, I start seeing my future very differently.
No grueling pressure from CFA test; no overwhelming preparation of MBA programs; no endless posting of resumes; no burdening responsibility to run a social event…I had always want to keep myself occupied for every passing second; Now I am serenely enjoying the gentle breeze under the graceful stars: I just realize that I badly needed this moment for long.
I made many important decisions in the past couple of weeks. Many of them were greatly influenced by Mr. Richard Branson’s auto biography: Losing My Virginity. I resigned; I stop applying finance jobs; I start learning buildings, tools, labor contract and driving in the middle of desert to search a construction site. I figured out that calculated risk will not take me anywhere closer to my dream. Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, Richard Branson and all the great entrepreneurs were usually left with no other option but to success. They all fought their own way to success and created a miracle that marveled by their peers.
I may not be qualified for top business schools, but at least, the whole MBA application processes made me analyze my life critically. I realize that I possess many great attributes that can only be fully capitalized in my own company, my own way and in one way. I want to run my own show now. After reading Mr. Branson’s book, I feel that age and experience is no longer an obstacle.
I have submitted my resignation letter to my boss yesterday. It is a bold gamble. I don’t have a clear picture how I would struggle for my future. But I believe in it and I am willing to take up the risk. If my life is never going to be as meaningful as I wanted, I don’t want to live namelessly either. I have to make something happen.